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Ellen Louise VanDuser Hopkins died at home surrounded by her family on Sept. 14, 2023. She was 74 years old.
She is survived by her husband of 49 years, Michael, as well as her four siblings, Orville, Connie, Jack and Sue; three children, Tracy, Damon and Carson; and four grandchildren, Seth, Ellen, Raza and Zavi.
Ellen lived in several states throughout her childhood and adolescence, but western New York was home. She attended Phelps High School, where she met Michael Hopkins. The first time she ever saw Michael was in a school play. While he was on stage she turned to a friend and said, “I’m going to marry that guy.” That promise would come true years later when they walked down the aisle to “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin.
A natural caretaker, Ellen built a career as a nurse, during which she was equally beloved by patients and colleagues. When Ellen and Michael relocated to Lexington in 1995, they did so to escape the brutal winters they’d become accustomed to and to live “somewhere pretty.” Michael passed through Lexington on business and took photos of the Blue Ridge Mountains from the Walmart parking lot. Ellen agreed to move sight unseen, packing up her two young children and their dog, cats, and iguana, and somehow sneaking all of them into pet-free hotels during the journey down.
Ellen loved freely. To know her was to know that she cared about you. She remembered things you said in passing, picked up little gifts she knew you’d appreciate, and never, ever forgot a birthday. When she found something funny, she would shake her head and say, “what a riot.” Her laugh was loud and open and joyful.
She loved to garden, but tended to let weeds overrun things because “they have a right to be there too.” A lifelong animal lover and pet owner, her capacity for love for all living things was unmatched.
She was humble, kind, and warm. She would sit and talk to you for hours and during that time you would be her whole world, whether you were a longtime friend or a complete stranger who just happened to be behind her in line at the grocery store.
She painstakingly handmade her children’s Halloween costumes, the more elaborate the better. She made it to every basketball and soccer game, no matter how far away they were, and she was so involved in the PTA that some school faculty and staff knew her better than they knew her children.
Ellen was the kind of beautiful that turned heads, but she never cared and she spent her entire life pretending not to notice. She was fiercely proud of her children and grandchildren, her French heritage, and her homemade cream puffs, the latter of which were well known to neighbors as well as staff at her doctors’ offices.
After her family, Ellen’s favorite thing in the entire world was laughter. When her children were laughing about something, Ellen would join in wholeheartedly, not knowing or asking or caring what the joke was. It was enough just to laugh. What a riot.
Ellen was the light in every room. She was the best of us, and she will be so missed.
The family is planning memorial services in both Lexington and Rochester, N.Y. Details are forthcoming. N-G
